Talk:Fresh Precure Episode 40

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Revision as of 07:22, 28 November 2009 by Kanmuri (talk | contribs) (→‎Scene Five (battle and denouement): Inori is prayer.)
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Scenes

I split the page into arbitrary "scenes" to assist in TLC. Allows me to break it up into smaller chunks and makes it easier to keep track of where I am and saving as I go. -- Kanmuri 12:09, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Prologue

The misfortune of others is such a sweet thing.

This one seems fine, though the literal translation is that it is like honey. -- Kanmuri 11:50, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Infinity…I will obtain it this time…!

Sounds akward, and I feel like it doesn't quite capture the statement of certainty.
Also the use of "it" sounded odd as Infinity is an animate being, not a thing.
Changed to: "Infinity... This time I will have you for sure." -- Kanmuri 11:50, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

First Scene (before title screen)

Is Set-chan doing well at school?

Literally, she's asking, "Is Set-chan having fun at school?" or "Is Set-chan enjoying school?"
I think the latter is more accurate and is still natural. -- Kanmuri 11:50, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Yup! She’s smart, athletic, and very popular in the class!

Love says nothing about being popular. She literally says, "Yup! [Her] studying and sports are both incredible/impressive/wonderful/[pick a synonym]." I changed it to "Yup! She's doing well in both classes and sports!" Another sentence, "Yup! She's both smart and athletic!" would probably work as well, though I feel those adjectives can both be implied from what she said, but aren't what she said.

If there's some sort of cultural pretense or undercurrent that I'm missing here that would lead to the translation that she's popular in the class from what she says, I would love an explanation of it. ^_^ -- Kanmuri 11:50, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Scene Two (grocery store and restaurant)

Hello, “Mother”...

Doesn't really say "hello," actually. Just "O-ka-a-san," dragging out the word "mother." Not sure how better to handle this, though. Leaving as a note for the editor. Kanmuri 12:45, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Per IRC discussion with pcj, changed it to "Mo-ther." -- Kanmuri 13:49, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Scene Three (back at the house)

...the Infinity

Proper nouns don't usually take definitive articles. So "the" was removed on this and "the Labyrinth." -- Kanmuri 13:45, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Then, after everyone falls asleep...obtain the Infinity.

"obtain" is way too generic here, in my opinion. The verb used, ubau (うばう), means "to snatch away; to dispossess; to steal." Reworded slightly as well, "Then, after everyone has fallen asleep... steal Infinity." -- Kanmuri 13:45, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Ah, welcome home, dear.

She doesn't say "dear." She does however mention overtime work. 「お帰りなさい.残業お疲れ様.」 Is what she said. Adjusted that line to fit. -- Kanmuri 13:45, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Scene Four (searching for Ayumi)

...the real mom

"The" doesn't really work here. It should be, "My real mom" and mom is lower-case here as it's referring to the "office", if you will, or familial position of mother, not "Mom" as a name. -- Kanmuri 14:20, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Don’t mind it, Love!

This just sounds akward to me. A more literal translation that sounds better to me, "It's okay, Love. Don't worry about it." -- Kanmuri 14:20, 28 November 2009 (UTC)

Scene Five (battle and denouement)

The yellow heart is the sign of faith! Freshly harvested, Cure Pine!

Why is this being translated as faith? いのり is prayer, not faith. Faith (of the religious kind) is 信仰(しんこう) or 信念(しんねん).

As your Mother...thank you.

「お母さんこそ、ありがとう.」 is what she said. I believe this is along the same lines as こちらこそ, when used in greetings. In that context こちらこそ means something like, "It is I who is pleased to meet you." Basically, stating that the feelings/actions that are the current topic are something that the speaker should be feeling instead.

In this instance, I believe it probably means something like, "I'm really the one who should be thanking you two." In the Japanese sentence, she's referring to herself in the third person as "Okaasan." If you want to maintain that third-person usage, then I'd have it be something like, "Your mother is the one who should be thanking you two." -- Kanmuri 14:48, 28 November 2009 (UTC)